The world tells me that you cannot be single and be happy. Throwing out the sexual aspect entirely, the world tells college people of my age that we have to find the right person to be romantically involved with, and find them NOW. I continually see couples holding hands all over campus (Christian and not Christian) and being happy together and it makes me sad that I'm not dating any girl and am not even close to that point. And it's not like I haven't tried pursuing girls, either. In a sense, it makes me wonder if I'm lacking something that these other people have.
However, God says my worth is in Him and who He has created me to be. I am unique and am valuable in His eyes, and that is what I should be basing my self-worth on. Not in relationships with girls or in my value to them.
But what about girls? What if I want to meet the right girl someday and get married?
About a month ago I read Psalm 37, and verses 3 and 4 have stuck with me:
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
I did some quick Google work and found some commentary by Charles Spurgeon:
And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. A pleasant duty is here rewarded with another pleasure. Men who delight in God desire or ask for nothing but what will please God; hence it is safe to give them carte blanche. Their will is subdued to God's will, and now they may have what they will. Our innermost desires are here meant, not our casual wishes; there are many things which nature might desire which grace would never permit us to ask for; these deep, prayerful, asking desires are those to which the promise is made. (http://www.spurgeon.org/treasury/ps037.htm)
My ability to trust in God has grown so much over this year, but even now, it's difficult to trust in God to bring me the right girl at the right time. I continually think that my ways and my ideas are better than what God could possibly have in store for me, and when the "ideal girl" shows no interest in me, I wonder what God is doing. It seems that He has different plans for me, possibly a girl better than I can possibly imagine, similar to a lot of other things that God has already done for me in my life.
I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of this blog was, but I did want to share this for some reason. So here it is.
Hey, Roy. <3 Okay, maybe it doesn't mean a whole lot, coming from someone who hasn't been single since she was 15... but I really do believe that the best relationships come about when you're not actively looking for one. I've seen people try so, SO hard to find someone, and I've seen many of those relationships flat-out fail. Of course, many of them do work out... but things can get rough at some points.
ReplyDeleteFor starters, you have to be confident in your own abilities. You can't look for comfort in other people, because you'll end up settling for the first person that shows interest in you. Since you've been turning to God throughout this entire process, I don't think you really have to worry about being so desperate as to cling to the first girl that winks at you. :P
Another reason why it's good to just sit back and wait for the right girl to come along is because you put on a "mask" when you're looking for someone. You may not mean to, but it's bound to happen. You're going to be sweeter, more generous, less nit-picky, etc. when you're trying to find a girlfriend. You're going to show the people around you that you're the perfect guy, a "Mr. Right"... but that's not who you are. Oh, don't get me wrong, you're a great guy... but you have flaws and you make mistakes, just like everyone else in the world. When you're just being yourself and not trying to impress anyone, you'll find it's actually EASIER to find a girl who's a good match. A lot of times, people are friends with their partners first, and you become friends because you've accepted one another for who you are, flaws/mistakes and all.
Okay, now I'm just rambling. :P I could go on and on and on about romantic relationships... but I won't. Just know that if you ever want a "taken" girl's perspective (or a psychology major's perspective), you're welcomed to contact me!
- Robin