I'm Still Yours

I'm definitely an organized person, and that tendency tends to reflect itself in my Bible reading. I have this elaborate calendar with the chapters of the Bible mapped out, where I read a chapter of the Bible a day. Problem is, like always, I wind up a month or two behind by the end of the quarter. This quarter is no exception.

So instead of being halfway through Proverbs like I should be, I'm halfway through Psalms. Several verses come to mind:
^{Psalm 94:19} When doubts filled my mind,
your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.
Psalm 23:6
⁶ Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.
Psalm 105:8
⁸ He always stands by his covenant—
the commitment he made to a thousand generations.
Psalm 106:3

³ There is joy for those who deal justly with others
and always do what is right.

Psalm 110:5a
⁵ The Lord stands at your right hand to protect you.

Psalm 111:5
⁵ He gives food to those who fear him;
he always remembers his covenant.

Psalm 112:7-8
⁷ They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
⁸ They are confident and fearless
and can face their foes triumphantly.

Psalm 115:11
¹¹ All you who fear the Lord, trust the Lord!
He is your helper and your shield.

Psalm 116:6-9
⁶ The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
I was facing death, and he saved me.
⁷ Let my soul be at rest again,
for the Lord has been good to me.
⁸ He has saved me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling.
⁹ And so I walk in the Lord’s presence
as I live here on earth!

Psalm 118:5-6
⁵ In my distress I prayed to the Lord,
and the Lord answered me and set me free.
⁶ The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?

Yes, my plan to finish the Bible in four years may turn into a five-year plan. But I know that God put these verses into my life at a time when I desperately needed them.

This quarter so far has been the worst quarter of my college career so far. By a lot. Oh, there were definitely a lot of fun times, but there has been so much stress involved. Starting with the first day of leadership retreat until now, I have had an unhealthy amount of stress, and starting around second or third week, my stress level went up to the point of where it was affecting my health. The stress came from academic and emotional and logistical and other sources; it drained me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

This is where my faith has really been tested. You've read the verses above (unless you skipped past them to the text..... be honest...) It's clear that God promises to come through for me. But do I really trust Him where it counts? Do I trust Him when all else has failed? Do I trust Him knowing that if He doesn't come through then I'm finished? Do I put myself out on a limb serving God, giving all my free time to further His work, and thus trusting in Him to come through for me, knowing that I'm going to fail if He doesn't come through?

The song that comes to mind is the final song at the Kutless concert tonight that they played. A lot of areas of my life have been challenged this quarter and I hit the breaking point physically, emotionally, and spiritually several times. At times I felt like I had absolutely nothing. But God kept me going and gave me enough strength to get through. All of the prior trials in my life had prepared me well for this point and I clearly see that now.