Jeremiah 20

I came across this passage in my 4+ year journey through the Bible, and it really resonated with me, so I'm posting it below.

Now Pashhur son of Immer, the priest in charge of the Temple of the Lord, heard what Jeremiah was prophesying. So he arrested Jeremiah the prophet and had him whipped and put in stocks at the Benjamin Gate of the Lord’s Temple.

By prophesying, Jeremiah was doing the work of the Lord and fulfilling what God had called him to. However, the "religious people" of the day rejected him and had him punished for this! There were many times over the last two years, and especially this last year, where I was doing God's work and trying to live a life above reproach, and yet all I faced was criticism, or people trying to discourage me from doing what I know God has put in my heart, or attacks on my character, or other further hardship. In this way, I understand some of the feelings that Jeremiah wrote about in chapter 20; where we do the right thing, and not only is there a cost to it, but other Christians are the cause of unnecessary suffering.

I have heard the many rumors about me.
    They call me “The Man Who Lives in Terror.”
They threaten, “If you say anything, we will report it.”
    Even my old friends are watching me,
    waiting for a fatal slip.
“He will trap himself,” they say,
    “and then we will get our revenge on him.”

As one of my friends reminded me over last summer, we serve God, not men. But it was definitely a struggle over the last two years, when the criticism continued and when people who were supposed to support me turned against me. Through the last two years, I have learned what it means to truly serve God and to not do things for myself and my glory - because, truth be told, the earthly reward was greatly outweighed by the time and effort I put into my work, and by the added attacks from other people that were ultimately motivated by the devil.


O Lord, you misled me,
    and I allowed myself to be misled.
You are stronger than I am,
    and you overpowered me.
Now I am mocked every day;
    everyone laughs at me.
When I speak, the words burst out.
    “Violence and destruction!” I shout.
So these messages from the Lord
    have made me a household joke.
But if I say I’ll never mention the Lord
    or speak in his name,
his word burns in my heart like a fire.
    It’s like a fire in my bones!
I am worn out trying to hold it in!
    I can’t do it!
But the Lord stands beside me like a great warrior.
    Before him my persecutors will stumble.
    They cannot defeat me.
They will fail and be thoroughly humiliated.
    Their dishonor will never be forgotten.
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies,
you test those who are righteous,
    and you examine the deepest thoughts and secrets.
Let me see your vengeance against them,
    for I have committed my cause to you.
Sing to the Lord!
    Praise the Lord!
For though I was poor and needy,
    he rescued me from my oppressors.

Yet I curse the day I was born!
    May no one celebrate the day of my birth.
I curse the messenger who told my father,
    “Good news—you have a son!”
Let him be destroyed like the cities of old
    that the Lord overthrew without mercy.
Terrify him all day long with battle shouts, 
     because he did not kill me at birth.
Oh, that I had died in my mother’s womb,
    that her body had been my grave!
Why was I ever born?
    My entire life has been filled
    with trouble, sorrow, and shame.


The switch between the two paragraphs is almost comical. It is clear that Jeremiah is greatly conflicted, and is trying to trust that God will bring justice and vengeance, and will vindicate him. But at the same time, he hates what has happened, and he wonders if God has his best interests in mind. Over the past few weeks, as I've been at home over the summer, it definitely has been a struggle as events of the last two years have gone through my head, and I deal with feelings of hurt and hatred. But I have to remember that God's not done with the story yet, and that He will bring justice and restoration. I already know that the past two years have been transformational, and I know that I am completely different person from where I was two years ago.